Tuesday, January 15, 2019

      My shipment of personal belongings and house ware from the states has arrived and I feel totally over whelmed. Next week it will be a month that we have our stuff and strangely I feel oppressed. Things that I thought I couldn't live without are still sitting in my living room waiting to be put away but strangely I don't find then essential any more. My closet & dresser are filled and yet I still have more stuff to put away and nowhere to put it. Combined with this increasing feeling of suffocation is the feeling of impotence that is ever growing. I've longed to move to Cyprus for so many years and for the first time I begin to doubt if it was the right thing to do. I love the sights the country in it self but the people have changed so greatly that it is no longer the Cyprus of my youth. Road rage has increased, people for he most part are so rude, the family unit is disintegrating, respect for women is at it's lowest and people taking pride in their work is becoming non existent.

      We live in a village in a small 3 bedroom home that due to its age is in need of repair. Though people complain that there is no work when you call someone to come to your home for an estimate they only schedule around their time never trying to meet your schedule. When an estimate is given they don't provide any information on the exact day of completion of the project and get very angry when you ask for detail, dates or other information on things that you will end up paying for. Chatting with acquaintances and mentioning my observations, the general reply that I get is that the Cypriot people suffered during this past recession and this has changed them. Well I ask you haven't others in various countries suffered as well yet they are still courteous & polite.

      As the days progress I look forward to the immediate family (my husband & children) excursions around the island that usually occur on weekends. The occasional coffee with friends (all foreigners married to Cypriot men). My days are spent home, accompanying my husband on random errands, attending weekly Greek language lessons, taking my daughter to after school activities, slowly putting together a local pottery shop we have decided to open and just waiting for the weekend. Here it's a much simpler life but at the same time a lonelier one. For now I try to focus on my immediate family, taking time for myself, determining what the future may hold. My writing has taken a back seat as I'm uninspired. Only 4 chapters into book 2 and I just can't focus on which way I will guide the story of Fran, Conn and Erik. My thoughts are jumbled at times, filled with deadlines (drop off, pick up, meal times, needed repairs, etc...) I wish I could just escape alone to some quiet village and just be.

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